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At times, Jay Spring believes he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his periods of extreme self-importance can become “really delusional”, he admits. “You are on cloud nine and you think, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I’m better than them … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

For Spring, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are usually coming after a “sudden low”, during which he feels sensitive and ashamed about his behavior, making him especially susceptible to criticism from external sources. He first suspected he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after investigating his behaviors on the internet – and subsequently diagnosed by a professional. But, he is skeptical he would have accepted the diagnosis unless he had previously arrived at that realization on his own. When someone suggests to somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – particularly if they experience a sense of being better. They operate in an altered state that they’ve constructed. And in that mindset, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying The Condition

Although people have been called narcissists for over 100 years, the meaning can be ambiguous what the term implies the label. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” explains a leading researcher, noting the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he believes many people keep it private, as there is widespread prejudice linked to the disorder. Someone with NPD will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a strategy of using people to enhance their social status through actions such as displaying material goods,” the professor says. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in NPD Presentation

Though three-quarters of people identified as having narcissistic personality disorder are men, research points out this figure does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that female narcissism is frequently manifests in the less obvious variety, which is under-identified. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be somewhat tolerated, just kind of like everything in society,” notes a young adult who posts about her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on social media. It is not uncommon, the two disorders appear together.

Personal Struggles

“I really struggle with receiving negative comments and rejection,” she says, since when I’m told that I am at fault, I either go into self-protection or I become unresponsive.” Even with this reaction – which is often called “ego wounding”, she has been attempting to address it and take advice from her support system, as she strives not to return into the harmful behaviour of her past. My past relationships were toxic to my partners as a teenager,” she admits. With professional help, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she explains she and her current boyfriend “have a dynamic where I told him, ‘If I say something messed up, if I say something manipulative, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing mostly in the care of her father and says she lacked supportive figures as a child. I’ve had to teach myself continuously the difference between suitable or harmful to say when arguing because it wasn’t modeled for me growing up,” she shares. There were no boundaries when my family members were criticizing me when I was growing up.”

Underlying Factors of NPD

These mental health issues tend to be connected with childhood challenges. Heredity is a factor,” explains a mental health specialist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “connected with that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to cope in formative years”, he continues, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was based on meeting specific standards. They then “persist in applying those identical strategies as adults”.

Like several of the NPD-diagnosed people, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The adult says when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve academic success and career success, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “worthy.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships ever worked out. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he admits. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t loving someone, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, in a comparable situation, finds it hard to manage emotional regulation. She is “very supportive of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he notes – it was actually she who first suspected he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Following an appointment to his GP, he was directed to a clinical psychologist for an diagnosis and was given the NPD label. He has been recommended for therapeutic sessions through national services (ongoing counseling is the main intervention that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the treatment delay for an extended period: “They said it is probably going to be maybe February or March next year.”

He has shared with a small circle about his condition, because “negative perceptions are widespread that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, privately, he has embraced the diagnosis. The awareness assists me to comprehend my actions, which is beneficial,” he explains. Those interviewed have accepted their narcissism and are seeking help for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the diagnosis. But the presence of NPD content creators and the expansion of virtual networks point to {more narcissists|a growing number